Saturday, December 11, 2010

Algorithms

(This one might be a little deep for some readers. Enter with caution.)

Someone asked me tonight if it (being away from Craig, moving, etc) has been hard. At that moment all that went through my head included: yes, no, of course, not really, definitely. Can you imagine if I had answered that way? Instead, I took a pause and let the Holy Spirit clarify for me, “I take each moment as it comes.” I replied. Isn’t that such a non-answer?

The long answer is that there is nothing easy about being a mom, ever - so, things are just different. Its not really hard. It just IS. The worst part is this nagging feeling like I am meant for something else - here - but I can’t choose the right algorithm to find the answer. The problem is that I want to find an algorithm but when it comes to God, there aren’t a finite number of steps; therefore, the algorithm does not have enough information to provide a solution. What is the missing information? I know I am meant to have it. I know I will know what to do with it when I get it! I want it.

Tonights sermon bothered me. A lot. I’d love to tell you why. I have no idea.

Insolvable algorithm; one more week.