Stage 2: Enriched indoor environment

Procrastinating on a project I am supposed to deliver to a client this morning (its complete, but I don’t like it; therefore, I am stirring up some better options for them) I took the chicken I am going to make for dinner out of the freezer. The logo is of a horse drawn carriage and underneath it says, “Raised in Amish Country, Pennsylvania.” I remember checking out this logo at the Whole Foods where I bought it. It says nothing on the label about whether or not growth hormones have been added, or if they add other things to plump them up. So, I asked a meat guy who happened to be standing there. He said, “Oh no, the Amish don’t add anything to anything. Its good.” I dismissed my fleeting thought of, Amish, yeah right, they have a plastic wrapping and shipping company? Its not really Amish. I don’t care if the chickens are Amish or not, just that they aren’t pumped full of stuff that will give my 5 year old boobs.

This morning I noticed something new. On the pricing label it says, “Animal welfare rating. Step 2 - Enriched Indoor Environment.” It made me chuckle a little and wonder what rating my life would be given.

Enriched Indoor Enviroment. That sounds pretty good, right? Probably better than than the average chicken - an enriched life. Really though, do I really care? I mean the thing just got pulled out of my freezer, dead, so I can cook it for dinner. Do I REALLY give a care about how enriched its pathetic life was? What kind a scale is this anyway? SOOOOO, I goggled it and here is what I found out:

(http://www.wholefoodsmarket.com/products/5step.php)

The Global Animal Partnership is a non-profit organization dedicated to continually improving the lives of farm animals raised for meat. They have developed the 5-Step Animal Welfare Rating™ that rates how pigs, chickens and cattle are raised. Ratings for other species (turkeys, lamb, and others) are in development, so stay tuned.

Step 1: No crates, no cages, no crowding. Like people, animals need a little "personal space" to be comfortable.

Step 2: Enriched environment. It's the simple things that keep animals active and engaged — like a bale of straw for chickens to hide behind and climb on, a bowling ball for pigs to manipulate and shove around, or a few sturdy objects for cattle to rub against when they need a good scratch.

Step 3: Enhanced outdoor access. Pigs and chickens still live in buildings but they all — yes, each and every one of them — have access to outdoor areas where they can catch a few rays.

Step 4: Pasture centered. Chickens need to forage, pigs need to wallow and cattle need to roam. They can do all of these things when they live outdoors and have shelter — and of course, a view!

Step 5: Animal centered; all physical alterations prohibited. Animals get to live their lives with all the parts they were born with, and nothing else! No nose rings, no clipping, no snipping and no branding.

Step 5+:Animal centered; entire life on same farm. Animals are born and live their entire lives on one farm. Pigs and cattle are slaughtered on the farm, and chickens are transported only short distances (because you can't herd chickens!).

The way I read this is that, if you have a Stage 5 chicken, then everything they don't do, they do to the stage before, compounding down the scale. Therefore, Stage 1-4 chickens all have nose rings. My chicken, the one that implies it was raised on a Amish farm, is really one step away from chicken hell; its not Amish, and it’s never seen the sun.

Bon Appetit!

Valentines Day - Don't get me started.

Here are some facts I found on the internet that I thought were interesting:

15% of U.S. women send themselves flowers on Valentine's Day.

73% of people who buy flowers for Valentine's Day are men, while only 27 percent are women.

About 1 billion Valentine's Day cards are exchanged each year. That's the largest seasonal card-sending occasion of the year, next to Christmas.

About 3% of pet owners will give Valentine's Day gifts to their pets

Aren’t all females supposed to love this holiday? Well, count me out! I can’t explain it, but I think, I just,

just,

think it,

well,

it’s,

DUMB.

It’s dumb!! There, I said it! What a load off!! I HATE VALENTINES DAY!!

Do we really need the stress of a holiday that holds so many expectations? 15% of American women send themselves flowers on Valentines Day. A lot of people would look at that as pathetic, but really it’s sad. It’s sad that they feel pressured to make it seem like they are in a relationship, or that their current relationship deems a dozen red roses that cost 60% more on this, one, day of the year.

There are so many problems with this holiday; I don’t even know where to begin. Let’s start with single people. It must be really fabulous to wake up on Valentines Day knowing that all of your married and committed friends all have plans, and you, well don’t. You tell yourself, “It’s cool, I got my dog a valentines bone (3% of pet owners…) and he’s the best anyone could have. Hey, buddy, wanna go to the park?” Then you get a text from your mom, “Happy Valentines Day.” Great. It’s not that you don’t appreciate the message, but it just, sucks. FACT: Valentines Day sucks if you’re single!! It’s a slap in the face that you have not met THAT person. It’s repetitive slaps in the face, A-L-L D-A-Y L-O-N-G.

Now, let’s move into the dating scene. If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, then you have expectations. Guys must make dinner plans, have flowers, chocolate, whatever. If you don’t play your cards right, you could end up single. If you just started dating someone, you’re not even sure WHAT you’re supposed to do. Are there expectations? What’s expected? Do you really like this person? Are they ‘Valentines Day dinner’ worthy? It’s so much stress!

Married couples? Well, they feel like they SHOULD do something for Valentines Day because it’s the holiday for lovers, and they have a lover. Expectations are there, and it’s up to the man to fulfill them. Which leads me to another problem, why is it up to the man? Why do they have to come up with the idea to order an Oregon Bear/pajama set? Which, by-the-way, is means for divorce in my house (I’m not 6; I don’t want a teddy bear, but that’s just me.) This is a holiday to let the ones you love know you love them, but women just expect things to happen for them. Meanwhile, reserving the right to pout if it does not meet their unsaid expectations.

Teenagers? So many schools do the carnation fundraisers, ‘Send a carnation to your Valentine for fifty cents.’ If you don’t get a carnation, you look like a loser. If you get one from someone you don’t like, you feel like a loser. If your boyfriend forgets, he’s a loser. It’s really just not a good situation. I still hate carnations!

There is one place that I feel Valentines Day is fun and cute: elementary and preschool. The little ones love everyone, and everyone gets a valentine and it’s sweet, appropriate, and kind. They don’t have expectations; they know they get a party and candy. They love the stickers and fake tattoos that come in the valentines. It’s great. Great!

To my Valentine,

I love you, but this is a lame holiday and I release you from all Valentines Day expectations. However, I do love tulips in the spring!!

:)